Just a Mom. Just a Wife. Just a Breadwinner.
We’ve all heard, “walk a mile in someone’s shoes”. We’re never very good at it, are we? Instantly we jump to ugly assumptions and build a story around the worst. People do it to us. We do it to them.
This isn’t a pity party post. Far from it. I’m master of my own destiny, and I make my own choices. It’s just interesting to watch human nature. And when it comes out of some people, you smile and aren’t the least bit surprised. It does make me want to stand up and be counted – just a little. I mean, after all — I didn’t even get my goodbye!!
Today, I am a wife, Mom, and the breadwinner. I’m the largest single shareholder of a company where I had a job until early November, but I quit for a bunch of reasons that I can’t talk about. At least not right now. The Chairmen of the Board did ask if I were taking notes on the twists and turns for a book one day. I have outlined some of the details, lol, but I’m probably not suited for a book on it anytime soon. All I can say is, sometimes we do things for reasons that are deeply important to us – even if the world never knows why. Sometimes we take a stand. Sometimes we take a risk. Sometimes we say, “I don’t choose THIS path”, and we change it.
These may or may not be in my list of reasons. They may or may not apply to others I know. All I can tell you is, I stick to my guns, even if there are critics, So, for now, Ian (my 17 year old lil bubby) gets to tease my 21-year-old that he’s the only one in the house with a job – and that’s my life.
I wish I could “ta-da” something crazy freaking cool next week. I wish I knew more (hell, anything) about things that are to come. Truth is, right now I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I’m a volunteer, and I’m a contract employee helping with pickle supplements and a B2B contract manufacturer, both whom you don’t know who wanted a website and some printing done. IE: I’m just doing good, honest work with good honest people, and looking for a J-O-B.
I know rumors and assumptions will always fly. Human nature will take its course. And while it would be fun to be some super-sneaky background character spinning a magnificent, brilliant, or maniacal story: I’m not. I’m just chilling at an airport on my way home from Christmas vacation with my tiny babies and my husband from a trip we booked in July. I’m half-wishing the holidays away so life can get back to normal and someone might actually SEE some of the resumés I’ve sent out and pick up the phone. At least something I’m excited about.
Don’t think for one minute I’ve somehow changed what I want for you. I think the mission is spot on. It’s mine. It doesn’t belong to a company as some bullshit tagline. If the company lives it, fine. BUT I LIVE IT. I plan to continue to live it. And I love to see people search for the best for themselves, always. It’s me. THAT is who I am: bigger, better, smarter, stronger, and master of our own destinies. It has nothing to do with what I did for a living. It is what I hope I can continue to do for a living. It’s what I’m searching to get excited about with a shiny, new decade.
Love me. Hate me. Judge me. Call me a bitch. Say I’m insincere (ah — you know who you are! 🙂 ). Say this was easy, or somehow I was willing to just leave my beliefs high and dry, but until you’ve heard my story, or the story of anyone else you’re raising an eyebrow at – maybe pause and cut us just a tiny bit of slack. It’s called grace. The Jedi taught me about it, and it’s a beautiful thing to learn.
And in the meantime, I’m going to continue teasing the baby who ate 17 chicken wings for lunch, and laughing at our jelly fish victim who now has a lighting bolt scar, and marveling at Justin’s goofy pants that zip into shorts. My hair is a frizzy mess. So is my career. I’m just figuring life out on my terms. With my beliefs. Honesty and character are important to me.
I love you. I believe you can always do, have, and BE MORE. Believe me, or don’t. You won’t slow me down, nor change my mind.
